I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
