"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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