i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
