Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
