I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so let's talk penis.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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