oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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