we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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