apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
