Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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