okay pat passed out under dana's car
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
