I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
