Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
