Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
