I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
