he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
