Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
