The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
