erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
