ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Randomize
