he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
