I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
