3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
