I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
