Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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