$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
