My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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