please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
