i already hear my dad disowning me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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