Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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