I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
