That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im part way to drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
