If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
