So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
