Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
