dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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