Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
