Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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