why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
