Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
