Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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