Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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