whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
