this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Four minutes until I can fart!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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