Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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