Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
