So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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