once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
well you can't waste a boner
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
