I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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