Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
