So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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