I am in a vortex of obligation.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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