I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
