Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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